The Evolution of an FLR
First let me emphasize that there is no one way to do any Power Exchange relationship. I’m speaking about where my Queen and I are at this moment and about what is working for us. Recently as chronicled here, our FLR took a turn. My Queen had felt some pressure to do certain things and act in a certain way. This was pressure that I didn’t mean to apply, but was managing to do so regardless. After reading Ms. Rika’s first book together, we had many good conversations and things changed. After 7 years of being caged (virtually 365/24/7), I am uncaged now. It’s been about 6 weeks since I’ve had the cage on–to be honest I have no idea of whether it will return occasionally or not. That is up to my Queen and she just doesn’t like it. In a weird way I miss it–it was a huge part of my life for so long. But I’ve committed to serving my Queen–so her likes are the important thing. I’m still required to sit to pee when I’m at home. And this has become quite ingrained so it’s not difficult at all. I do admit that using urinals while out and about make my life easier, lol, and certain exercises at the gym are also easier without a cage! But I do miss it. I suspect that she may have me wear it on rare occasions.
So what does our FLR look like now? In many ways it is much the same as before, but I am doing more to make my Queen’s life easier. It means my days have less free time than they did previously, but I am happy to please my Queen. She is slowly getting better at not feeling guilty about expecting me to do her bidding while she relaxes. So we continue to evolve. And while I am no longer caged, I am still not allowed to masturbate (really that has been conditioned out of me now… lol). Likewise orgasms are still rare for me. She has had me provide my own “salad dressing” a couple of time though. That’s kind of hot for me… I have a video of this, but need to figure out how to post videos on this new platform. One day soon…lol Stay well!
Life Constantly Changes
So at this point in time, I can say that without question my marriage to my Queen has never been better. We have always had a good marriage, but with the discovery of Ms. Rika’s books, we’ve progressed and have evolved. In fact, I have been uncaged for the last two or three weeks. After so many years of being caged almost constantly, that is a big change. I admit to being unused to using the urinals at work…lol I’m not sure what will become of the cage. I obviously found sleeping and living in it easy to do, but my Queen has always disliked it. Over the years her reasons for allowing/making me stay caged have changed and fluctuated, but with our discussions on me serving her, it became clear that my wearing a cage was serving me more than her. She may at times have me wear it, but she likes the easy access that a cage prohibits. So we will see where this goes.
Each week I read to my Queen–we have been working our way through Ms. Rika’s books and have almost finished the second book. When I read to her, we often pause and discuss things that we have read. We also evaluate how the proceeding week has gone. I’ve always done a lot of stuff around the house, but I’m doing more now. My Queen is actually doing less and relaxing more. Her guilt over this still exists, but is getting better.
I do hope that in time, she will begin to expect my service without the guilt. I know that I feel good when she can relax and I ease her daily load.
Despite not being caged, I’m not orgasming a lot. I’m still not allowed to masturbate and can only cum when given permission. At the moment only one child is around the home, so in the next month or so, we should have quality time together on a regular basis. For July, we will have two kids around…
The Pleasures of Serving
It is funny how life changes as you move through it. Years ago, I orgasmed daily–sometimes multiple times. I had days where I orgasmed 8-10 times when with certain partners. And I had days when I did the same when no partner was available. lol The five finger version of a discount orgasm! I certainly don’t cum with that frequency anymore. And while I miss it in some ways, I don’t in others. I get real enjoyment serving my Queen. Giving her orgasms is really as good as getting them myself. The pleasure I feel is real. Angus will press hard against his cage, but I will be satisfied. If she has released him from the cage, he will stand tall and temporarily want release, but ultimately will be satisfied with the excitement of pleasing her.
Washing the dishes and cooking for her takes on new meaning when doing it to serve her and when she acknowledges that fact. Doing anything to please her causes me sexual excitement. As a caged man, the erections are curtailed, but the excitement drives me onwards. When allowed and told to massage her or to do things that involve touching her… my excitement is palpable.
One of the neat things about this is how each of us finds the excitement of the other feeds our own excitement. So in serving my Queen, I become aroused and excited and this helps her to also become aroused and excited. If only we didn’t have adult children around as much…lol
Orgasms Abound! lol
It’s been a good few weeks. Shortly after my last post, I had some time off, so was more relaxed and more available to serve my Queen. Unfortunately, two of our adult kids were around almost non-stop. Still despite their presence, on a few mornings I was able to pleasure my Queen orally before we got up. On at least one of those mornings, she was able to have 3 orgasms. This always makes me so happy. I’m not sure why, but I do get more pleasure out of giving her pleasure than taking it myself. Regardless, I remained caged. Things just developed while we were in bed. I started to gently caress her as she woke. I paid attention to all of her, not really honing in on her secret spots… After a while, she started to feel frisky, and pushed my head down to her pussy. This is one of my favourite things to do, so I dove in with gusto. After three orgasms, she was sated, and we stopped. Angus was nicely cramped in his cage.
On a few other occasions, she called me into the bathroom after she had finished peeing to serve as her TP. And on at least three of those occasions, she had an orgasm. Quick and simple, but fun for the both of us. In addition, over the past month, we’ve managed to find some time without children in the house. This allowed some quality time and my Queen has had an orgasm feast… (many orgasms one after the other…) I also have had a couple of orgasms. My Queen decided she wanted me to eat a salad and gave me an orgasm to provide the dressing. This has now happened twice in the past 2-3 months… So I have also had a couple of orgasms this year–maybe three? I should go and check my records…
Our FLR is getting better. I continue to read Ms. Rika’s second book to my Queen. We try and find some alone time for this each week. It’s not always easy, but we manage most weeks. We are both loving this. Ms. Rika presents info in a well thought out and very complete manner. We always have good talks whenever we read together. These talks help to bring us even more closely together and strengthen our FLR. We have been trying to find and deal with any FLR relationship problems quickly. These talks help with that. For the most part, we have no real problems. My Queen is still trying not to feel guilty, but has indicated that she is enjoying how things are going. This is a key for me!
Growth… or Shrinkage?? lol
Our FLR is evolving. With the help of Ms. Rika and her books, my Queen and I have been adjusting our relationship and we are both enjoying it. I honestly love serving her. Angus hardens as much as he can in his cage and I get a sense of accomplishment when she is obviously happy with what I’ve done for her. I try and anticipate her needs. I try and get her to relax–this isn’t easy, because she is a driven person and she feels guilt over everything that I am doing. This is something that we’re working on–that loss of guilt. I remember a passage in Uniquely Us that covered entitlement and guilt well–we’ve just started to read this book, so I’m hoping that passage will help my Queen. Now I’ve been caged for a long time. We started with a cage in 2014, and then tried it more extensively in 2015. Since late 2015 or early 2016 I’ve been caged virtually every day. However for most of that time, my Queen was having me be caged because I felt a need to do it. At least that’s what I think. She made me cage Angus for me. But curiously, her feelings and thinking has changed. We had a conversation recently where she told me frankly that she now sees the need to cage me. She now wants me caged! It was a wonderful moment for me. However, I am now almost never out of the cage! lol Not a bad thing, but a definite difference. The last two times we played together, I remained caged. My Queen’s comment to me was, “I now realize that I don’t need to uncage you to enjoy myself.” This is also a significant change, and one I embrace. When we have sex, I want it to be all about her! I enjoy feeling horny, and immensely enjoy giving her pleasure. It leaves me feeling on a high for hours afterwards. So our relationship is growing and it’s in a direction I am very happy to see. I love my Queen passionately and serving her is just the icing on the cake.
Now the shrinkage portion of the title… Logically, I can’t see cage wearing actually causing a man’s penis to shrink in size. However, I believe that I’ve shrunk a bit. My erections seem a little smaller than they used to be… I don’t have a ruler handy when I am uncaged, and I’m not uncaged often, so this is a subjective observation. And even if it were true, I wouldn’t change a thing. But it is my thinking… Of course I’ve been wrong before and will be again! lol