Book Review: Surrender,Submit, Serve Her by Key Barrett
One of the things my Queen enjoys is hearing me read to her. I read all kinds of books to her–non fiction for the most part. She doesn’t really enjoy fiction. So she will choose books and I will read them to her. I often read to her as we go to bed. I also read to her when we are alone and might have time to play. At these times I read a book that focusses on sex and power exchange. We discuss what I read and sometimes try and adjust our relationship to incorporate some of the ideas we read about.
I read this book to my Queen last year. It was written by Key Barrett, M. Sc. Key Barrett is a pseudonym, but he actually has a masters degree. He has studied sexual subcultures from North America to Europe. Prior to writing this book, he had spent time studying Female-Led-Relationships and specifically what makes the good ones so strong. Surrender, Submit, Serve Her is a guide written to help people enact female leadership and to embrace a female dominated household.
The book is divided into three parts: Surrender, Submit and Serve, and it is supposed to be read aloud as a couple. This is to foster discussion. The book is designed to teach males how to serve the female. Many things are discussed within the pages of this book–including a small portion dealing with sexual relations. One of the things mentioned was the act of saying a daily pledge. This is something we have incorporated. Prior to reading this book, I had a mantra I was required to say whenever my Queen desired it. After discussion, we decided to incorporate a daily pledge. I took my kinky wedding vow and made a few changes as suggested by Barrett. We also have an evening pledge that my Queen wanted.
In the morning, I come downstairs and make my Queen’s coffee, empty the dishwasher etc. When she comes downstairs, she sits down and I bring her coffee to her. I am usually dressed in an apron. I give my Queen one of her crops and kneel before her. I hike the apron up above my nipples and then say my pledge:
“Mistress ______, I commit myself to your natural authority. I promise to learn and grow with you exploring life together. I will obey, serve, cherish and respect you as my superior. I pledge my submission to you and my devotion to your pleasure. I celebrate your sexual freedom to do as you wish! I offer myself to you as your slave with my undying love, devotion and chastity. I give you total control of my life including my sexuality, my orgasms and erections. I will do everything I can for you that you desire. I choose you as the person with whom I give my key and surrender to. My key represents our trust in each other, your superiority, your natural authority, and your strength to lead us for as long as we both shall live!” After completing my pledge, I then kiss the back of her hand and ask her how I might make her happy on that day.
My evening pledge is shorter, and includes my listing the things I’ve done for her that day.
Overall, there were some good things about this book. It wasn’t my favourite book on this topic, but we did generate some great discussion and adjust our relationship practices a little. 
It shouldn’t be the only book on Femdom you read, but it will likely help to expand your view of this type of relationship.
SinUp on Etsy And Greeting Cards in General–Delightful Ways to Communicate
I am a card guy! I hunt through card shops, on-line and other shops that also sell cards regularly to find the perfect card. I’m famous for getting more than one card for any situation because it often takes me two or three cards to say exactly what I want to say. It is particularly difficult to find cards with a kink theme. So I want to highlight a great shop I’ve found on Etsy. SinUp is a shop based in Vancouver and run by an entrepreneur named Erika. Her shop features 234 items most of them dealing with Femdom. She has a large number of Femdom greeting cards, some Femdom mugs and art, and some Femdom clothing. I have found her great to deal with and love her shop! Somehow, with the focus of her shop prominent in my mind, I believe she is also a Domme–though that’s a guess by me! (I’ve been known to be wrong on many occasions)
Two of the latest cards I’ve purchased from her are shown below. They give an idea of her work. While she has a variety of stock phrases for each of her cards, you also have the option of choosing your own wording.
As a slave to my Queen, these cards are just perfect for those kinky times or to inject a little kink into standard occasions. A little sexy time makes every event a little better. I strongly suggest you go and check out her shop! There has to be something that you might like there.
Cards and notes, small gifts and acts where your partner is put first are very good for building intimacy and togetherness. All relationships benefit from good communication. These small tokens of love and fealty really help to build and support a relationship. I am fortunate to have a wonderful relationship with a stellar woman. Cards such as these are fantastic tools to enhance one’s love!
On the chastity front, I was caged for all of February. Yesterday (March 1st) my Queen decided I should come out of the cage. She further decided I should have an orgasm, so I’ve now had 2 orgasms in 2026. Spring is coming and so did I… lol
The New Zapper! Or… How My Queen Alerts me to Her Needs!
Years ago, in my previous blog, I talked about and showed what we called the zapper! A little over 11 years ago, I came across the blog called “Male Chastity Journal”. It was written by a couple. The male called himself Caged Lion and his wife was called Mrs. Lion. I was certain it would still exist and just went looking for it, but apparently Lion passed away in Sept of 2024. It was very sudden. I’m a little surprised and saddened by this news. Lion and I had forged a friendship and we corresponded frequently. With the onset of the pandemic we both seemed to get busy and stopped communicating as often–at all really. And yet I figured I could contact him at any time. I’m sad that he’s passed.
As I started my chastity journey, I used Lion and his advice to find out many things about the lifestyle. He and Mrs. Lion posted nearly everyday. The beauty of their blog was that you had both viewpoints. At any rate, Lion used a Mature Metal cage, and I ended up purchasing one from them myself. It’s a choice I have never regretted. They build quality cages. Another thing that Lion had done was purchase a Dog shock collar. He shortened it and wore it around his penis and scrotum. I thought that was a cool idea, so I purchased one too. As it turned out my Queen loved that device. She used it for entertainment, to call me, and also for punishment. I remember receiving 500 maximal shocks for one transgression. Well we’ve moved recently and while I know exactly where the old zapper is, neither of us have any idea where the remote is. The unit was getting old, so we’ve purchased a new unit.
The new zapper has upgraded technology. It actually can be used with two dogs (or two slaves), though my Queen has no plans to expand her stable! lol
This company produces all sorts of dog trainers. This particular model has a range of 500m. That’s a heck of a reach my Queen has! lol Improvements from our first “zapper” seem to be an improved weather resistance, increased range, and increased power! So far my Queen hasn’t used it on the max level yet. For that I’m grateful. The strap is plastic rather than strapping material. So it isn’t as comfortable as the old zapper. However I’ve worn it for upwards of 6 hours without too much hassle so far.
Like the first zapper, my Queen finds it amusing to zapp me. She particularly likes surprising me with it. My reactions are far more amusing to her when she surprises me. As time goes on, I’ll become much more familiar with this device and I’ll let you know how it goes.
120 Days and Then a Break!
So my latest record broken is the length of time I’ve been caged. The old record was 96 days and now it is 120 days. One day recently, my Queen asked me what day I was at, and after checking I said 119 days. “hmmm,” she mused… “Tomorrow night you’ll take it off!” So my new record is now 120 days. I was out of my cage for a few days and it was a weird feeling. Sleeping, going to the washroom–just plain living is different without the cage. In many ways it just doesn’t feel right anymore to be without it. I no longer masturbate–unless my Queen has told me to, so that is a pleasure I don’t indulge in. If you go back the ten years of so that we’ve practiced male chastity, I used to masturbate at least daily. There were many days when I would masturbate more than once. Who knew that I would stop? lol I still love sex, but my entire focus is on pleasing my Queen. On occasion she wants to see me cum. Then she feeds me my mess. These acts turn her on so I will always cum when she demands it. In fact she caused me to have an orgasm a few days ago on February 1st. After which, she scooped up my mess and made me lick it from her hand. Prior to that, my previous orgasm had been on November 2nd, a full 92 days earlier.
But let’s back up a bit. It’s winter and cold here. My outfit for wear around the house–as long as my son isn’t around–is an apron! If I’m cold, I am allowed to wear a t-shirt as well. My Queen thought I should be able to wear something for the really cold days. So we checked out Etsy, Amazon, Shein etc. In the end we purchased a few things. One of them was a body stocking designed for males. It’s a very sheer design that is surprisingly warm and has a penis sheath incorporated into it. I wore it for the first time on the first.
So I did my daily chores for her. And we relaxed together. I read her books often as she likes to hear my voice. When she’s feeling frisky, I will often read erotica or a book on sexuality and the lifestyle. Currently I’m reading Lady Sas’ book FEMDOM ACADEMY. We will discuss things that otherwise we might not even think of. It helps to let each of us know more about the other. Ultimately nothing will ever happen that my Queen doesn’t want, but sometimes ideas are planted and they may bear fruit later. Regardless, it is helping us to communicate better with each other.
Reading to my Queen helps her to begin to feel frisky. We always also talk about the state of our relationship and how things might be improved. But I like that she begins to feel frisky. I’m not allowed to ask for sex–it’s a punishable offence, so a frisky Queen means things might happen and on Sunday, they did. My Queen told me to stop reading and go into the bedroom. I was to get certain toys/tools out and leave them on the bed. I was then told to lie, face up and spread eagled on the bed. My Queen came in and blindfolded me. She then proceeded to cuff my wrists and ankles before immobilizing them. Then she started to play with me. I’m down to sensation as I can’t see a thing.
What happened? Well she used a crop and paddle on me. She applied pinchy things to my nipples, scrotum and cock. She smacked them off after they had been on a while–and anyone who’s had this done knows that is exquisite torture. She used a feather. To be honest I can’t remember all that she did (I am a visual learner! lol). She did put her favourite dildo into my mouth.
I was really enjoying the experience when the best thing happened. My Queen straddled me and moved over my face! Initially she had me stimulate her through her panties but she was horny so quickly she pulled them aside and let me lick her. She was sopping wet and I went to town. It was glorious! I knew she was really turned on as she came quite quickly. But I didn’t stop and she had another couple of orgasms before she slid down my body. I am not sure exactly what happened but it felt like she was rubbing her pussy on Angus. I was so turned on by this time and hadn’t been expecting this at all. She worked feverishly and before I could help myself, I started an epic orgasm. The stocking does have a hole at the top of the penis sheath, so all that built up come came shooting out. My Queen collected it and brought her hand to my mouth so I could clean up my mess. There must have been a good amount because she did this 4-5 times.
“I know you say it’s all about me,” she said, “But sometimes I just want to make it about you!” Then “Put the cage back on!!”
International Male Chastity Day and Month
So January 14th was International Male Chastity Day. This started some years ago in the kink community. The day is actually supposed to be the first day of International Male Chastity Month–which ends–you guessed it–on Valentine’s Day. Near as I can figure, this was started back in 2014. When I first investigated male chastity and devices used for it, I came across this day and month in various chastity forums. The idea seemed to be it would be a good month to try this out and by releasing the male on Valentine’s Day, the following sex would be explosive! It is not something I have ever actually formally partaken in. That might change this year as I’m in the midst of my longest period of consecutive days caged. So it is entirely possible that I will still be caged on February 14th. As you are all aware, I don’t make those decisions.
I’ve tried to find out info on Male Chastity Month without success. When I first started to get interested in this kink, I did a lot of investigation. I read from many many sources. I was trying to get ideas about cages and the way they fit people. I was looking for ways to approach my wife about it. I was just a sponge for information. I thought I had read about Male chastity month on the website “Chastity Mansion”, but after a visit just today, I couldn’t really find anything about it. Some stuff dealing with International Male Chastity Day… but nothing really about the month.
Male chastity is a growing phenomena. More and more males are purchasing cages and self caging. The fortunate ones have a partner (either male or female) who agree to be their key holder. Thousands of cages are sold every month. There are many custom cage manufacturers. This proliferation of hardware would not happen if the kink were a rarity. Instead it speaks to the increasing number of people indulging in this fantasy or kink. When I first got interested, it was because I saw a metal cage in a sex shop. It just spun my mind. At the time, it was the first and only sex shop I had been in that had cages. It was a large shop and only had the one type of cage. Now, it doesn’t seem to matter which sex shop I visit–nor how large the shop is, all shops have an assortment of cages.
Fit is incredibly important when choosing a cage. To be honest, I firmly recommend getting a custom cage. However they are expensive and you can purchase many cheaper cages that are mass produced to get an idea as to how sizing works. These cheaper cages allow you to try different materials as well as different dimensions. Cages are made from metals, plastics, resin and silicone. They come in cage styles with lots of holes thus allowing easier hygiene maintenance or tube style. Tube style cages must be removed for cleaning every day or at most every other day. Currently I’ve been in my cage for 114 days without it’s removal once. I have no issues maintaining my hygiene with my cage. I have tried a few tube style cages in the past. They begin to smell very quickly. For that reason alone I didn’t like them.
So Happy International Male Chastity Month everyone! If you are a caged male, enjoy the month. If you have only thought about it, go on Amazon–they have so many cages, you could have one in a couple of days and begin to try it out. Perhaps you’ll be a convert! More importantly, perhaps your wife will be a convert!