Surgery… Let the Healing Begin…
Historical Reference: In 2018 or 2019 my Queen had an hysterectomy. A bit of manufactured screen was placed in to her. She never fully recovered and I eventually became “pussy free!” Now in our relationship, all PIV has always been at her request and in the manner she desired. I was seldom allowed to orgasm, however at least for the past 2-3 years we haven’t even tried PIV–maybe longer.
So today my Queen had surgery. Tonight she’s resting in hospital–uncomfortable, but looking forward to healing. My Queen really likes penetrative sex. After the initial surgery seven years ago, we allowed time for healing and then tried. I was unable to do much. We had to be in just the right position and I couldn’t fully penetrate her, nor could I really pump. I had to move super slowly. Eventually we just stopped trying. Angus may not be super long, but does have good girth. My previous blog was quite successful before it was unceremoniously cut. Several toy manufacturers had sent me toys to review and one of those toys was a dildo with a motor inside. Now the motor didn’t last long, but the actual dildo had adequate length and a lot less girth than me. So for a while we would use this toy for penetration. I’d use my hands to move it inside her carefully and sometimes use my mouth or a vibrator at the same time. However the pain got progressively worse and the last time I used the toy to penetrate her was last year after our wedding. It just hurt too much. Prior to this surgery today, I couldn’t even put one finger an inch inside her without her having pain.
It is now about 5-6 weeks post surgery. My Queen has healed well and is back to the gym. However there is another problem, so penetrative sex may still be a ways off for us. She has had to use a catheter to pee since the surgery 6 weeks ago. When she came out of the hospital she had a catheter with a bag. After about 7 days, that catheter was removed and she was given “portable” catheters to insert every time she pees. So for the past 5 weeks or so, she must insert a catheter to pee, then remove it and clean it for use the next time. She is now measuring how much she can pee without a catheter and that is a very small amount. So she pees about 100 ml without the catheter and then she will insert the catheter and pee the rest of her urine out. The surgeon wants the numbers but has suggested that he will likely have to do a small surgery to make it easier for her to pee. She will be very happy to see the last of these catheters. She is currently using an hormonal cream on her vagina that requires her to insert a pencil thick tube into her vagina. That is causing her a fair amount of pain–so with these two problems, penetrative sex is likely not in the cards for at least another 4-5 weeks.
Lady Sas: “Femdom Academy” Another Book Review
The other day I finished reading our latest book on our lifestyle. This one was written by Lady Sas and it’s full title is “Femdom Academy: SM course for Mistresses & Subs, Beginners, & Advanced”. Lady Sas is a German lifestyle dominatrix who has published numerous books and has a blog that she has written since 2013. Her blog can be found at Lady-Sas.com, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t figure out if there was a way to translate the German into English! lol However if you read German, there appears to be a lot of information on this blog. The good thing about Femdom Academy is that it is available in English! I was able to translate it and it is impressive. But back to the book–over the last couple of months I read this to my Queen. We had several really good discussions and I’m certain my Queen discovered some new ideas. Some of the info covered we were already aware of, but even so, another view on a topic can still be valuable.
The book is broken into 15 lessons. Amongst other things, she covers relationships between Mistress and sub, preparing for a session, creative ideas for a session, equipment, safety, personal development and finding a play partner. One chapter that really inspired a lot of discussion was chapter 6–One Session and 1.000 Possibilities. This chapter discusses various kinks giving definitions and talking about them, giving safety considerations and practical info. Topics such as anal play, Cock & Ball torture, Water sports, are discussed. Another chapter speaks about the Language of a Mistress–or how to speak to your submissive.
Ultimately we found this book to be a low-key manual with a lot of tips for people looking to create and engage in BDSM scenes. However the info can also be applied to 24/7 relationships. Lady Sas has several books in print. However if you’ve never read anything by her, this is a good place to start.
Book Review: Surrender,Submit, Serve Her by Key Barrett
One of the things my Queen enjoys is hearing me read to her. I read all kinds of books to her–non fiction for the most part. She doesn’t really enjoy fiction. So she will choose books and I will read them to her. I often read to her as we go to bed. I also read to her when we are alone and might have time to play. At these times I read a book that focusses on sex and power exchange. We discuss what I read and sometimes try and adjust our relationship to incorporate some of the ideas we read about.
I read this book to my Queen last year. It was written by Key Barrett, M. Sc. Key Barrett is a pseudonym, but he actually has a masters degree. He has studied sexual subcultures from North America to Europe. Prior to writing this book, he had spent time studying Female-Led-Relationships and specifically what makes the good ones so strong. Surrender, Submit, Serve Her is a guide written to help people enact female leadership and to embrace a female dominated household.
The book is divided into three parts: Surrender, Submit and Serve, and it is supposed to be read aloud as a couple. This is to foster discussion. The book is designed to teach males how to serve the female. Many things are discussed within the pages of this book–including a small portion dealing with sexual relations. One of the things mentioned was the act of saying a daily pledge. This is something we have incorporated. Prior to reading this book, I had a mantra I was required to say whenever my Queen desired it. After discussion, we decided to incorporate a daily pledge. I took my kinky wedding vow and made a few changes as suggested by Barrett. We also have an evening pledge that my Queen wanted.
In the morning, I come downstairs and make my Queen’s coffee, empty the dishwasher etc. When she comes downstairs, she sits down and I bring her coffee to her. I am usually dressed in an apron. I give my Queen one of her crops and kneel before her. I hike the apron up above my nipples and then say my pledge:
“Mistress ______, I commit myself to your natural authority. I promise to learn and grow with you exploring life together. I will obey, serve, cherish and respect you as my superior. I pledge my submission to you and my devotion to your pleasure. I celebrate your sexual freedom to do as you wish! I offer myself to you as your slave with my undying love, devotion and chastity. I give you total control of my life including my sexuality, my orgasms and erections. I will do everything I can for you that you desire. I choose you as the person with whom I give my key and surrender to. My key represents our trust in each other, your superiority, your natural authority, and your strength to lead us for as long as we both shall live!” After completing my pledge, I then kiss the back of her hand and ask her how I might make her happy on that day.
My evening pledge is shorter, and includes my listing the things I’ve done for her that day.
Overall, there were some good things about this book. It wasn’t my favourite book on this topic, but we did generate some great discussion and adjust our relationship practices a little. 
It shouldn’t be the only book on Femdom you read, but it will likely help to expand your view of this type of relationship.
SinUp on Etsy And Greeting Cards in General–Delightful Ways to Communicate
I am a card guy! I hunt through card shops, on-line and other shops that also sell cards regularly to find the perfect card. I’m famous for getting more than one card for any situation because it often takes me two or three cards to say exactly what I want to say. It is particularly difficult to find cards with a kink theme. So I want to highlight a great shop I’ve found on Etsy. SinUp is a shop based in Vancouver and run by an entrepreneur named Erika. Her shop features 234 items most of them dealing with Femdom. She has a large number of Femdom greeting cards, some Femdom mugs and art, and some Femdom clothing. I have found her great to deal with and love her shop! Somehow, with the focus of her shop prominent in my mind, I believe she is also a Domme–though that’s a guess by me! (I’ve been known to be wrong on many occasions)
Two of the latest cards I’ve purchased from her are shown below. They give an idea of her work. While she has a variety of stock phrases for each of her cards, you also have the option of choosing your own wording.
As a slave to my Queen, these cards are just perfect for those kinky times or to inject a little kink into standard occasions. A little sexy time makes every event a little better. I strongly suggest you go and check out her shop! There has to be something that you might like there.
Cards and notes, small gifts and acts where your partner is put first are very good for building intimacy and togetherness. All relationships benefit from good communication. These small tokens of love and fealty really help to build and support a relationship. I am fortunate to have a wonderful relationship with a stellar woman. Cards such as these are fantastic tools to enhance one’s love!
On the chastity front, I was caged for all of February. Yesterday (March 1st) my Queen decided I should come out of the cage. She further decided I should have an orgasm, so I’ve now had 2 orgasms in 2026. Spring is coming and so did I… lol
The New Zapper! Or… How My Queen Alerts me to Her Needs!
Years ago, in my previous blog, I talked about and showed what we called the zapper! A little over 11 years ago, I came across the blog called “Male Chastity Journal”. It was written by a couple. The male called himself Caged Lion and his wife was called Mrs. Lion. I was certain it would still exist and just went looking for it, but apparently Lion passed away in Sept of 2024. It was very sudden. I’m a little surprised and saddened by this news. Lion and I had forged a friendship and we corresponded frequently. With the onset of the pandemic we both seemed to get busy and stopped communicating as often–at all really. And yet I figured I could contact him at any time. I’m sad that he’s passed.
As I started my chastity journey, I used Lion and his advice to find out many things about the lifestyle. He and Mrs. Lion posted nearly everyday. The beauty of their blog was that you had both viewpoints. At any rate, Lion used a Mature Metal cage, and I ended up purchasing one from them myself. It’s a choice I have never regretted. They build quality cages. Another thing that Lion had done was purchase a Dog shock collar. He shortened it and wore it around his penis and scrotum. I thought that was a cool idea, so I purchased one too. As it turned out my Queen loved that device. She used it for entertainment, to call me, and also for punishment. I remember receiving 500 maximal shocks for one transgression. Well we’ve moved recently and while I know exactly where the old zapper is, neither of us have any idea where the remote is. The unit was getting old, so we’ve purchased a new unit.
The new zapper has upgraded technology. It actually can be used with two dogs (or two slaves), though my Queen has no plans to expand her stable! lol
This company produces all sorts of dog trainers. This particular model has a range of 500m. That’s a heck of a reach my Queen has! lol Improvements from our first “zapper” seem to be an improved weather resistance, increased range, and increased power! So far my Queen hasn’t used it on the max level yet. For that I’m grateful. The strap is plastic rather than strapping material. So it isn’t as comfortable as the old zapper. However I’ve worn it for upwards of 6 hours without too much hassle so far.
Like the first zapper, my Queen finds it amusing to zapp me. She particularly likes surprising me with it. My reactions are far more amusing to her when she surprises me. As time goes on, I’ll become much more familiar with this device and I’ll let you know how it goes.