A Lifetime Change

This post leaves the topic of chastity and living an FLR.  I talk about death–don’t want to trigger anyone.


This has been a difficult week.  Last weekend, my dad went to hospital for what we thought was a minor problem.  After a night of tests, several major problems were discovered.  They decided to keep him overnight.  Sunday morning he was only able to grunt.  The decline was astonishing.  We talked about palliative care and decided that is the direction we would take.  They were still doing some medical things and we were hoping that they would result in at least a temporary improvement in cognition so we delayed the move to palliative care. As Sunday progressed, he did improve and was able to recognize and make one or two word comments to people.  He nodded his head and smiled when visitors came by.  Occasionally he even said a short phrase.  As we left Sunday we hadn’t yet put him into palliative care.  Monday morning he was much better.  Two of my daughters are half a world away and wouldn’t be able to make it back.  We were able to have a video call where they expressed love for him and he was able to tell both of them that he loved them dearly.  However it was clear that we were at the end and there would be no miraculous cure.  Dad didn’t want to live on tubes or have any extreme measures done to save him, so shortly after the two phone calls, we moved him to palliative care.

The end came rapidly at that point.  Surprisingly quick really!  While he recognized people the rest of the day, his responses got weaker and weaker.  It was clear that he would be gone by the end of the week.  Tuesday morning I brought his sister to see him.  She had a visit with him for about 3 hours and then asked if I would take her home.  He was breathing well and had good colour so I said good bye and that I would be back in less than an hour.  25 minutes later as I was approaching my Aunt’s home the phone rang to let me know that he was taking his last breaths.  I continued with my Aunt and then turned round to go back to the hospital.  He had been dead for about 20 minutes when I got back.

My father was a very good and kind man.  He worked his whole life for the community he lived in, and he gave of himself as a matter of course.  The hundreds of people who have made contact with us over these last few days have all been telling us how impactful he was in their lives; how much help he gave them when needed; how kind and caring he was; how special he was.  My pride in is overflowing.  My sense of loss is huge.  Make sure you tell those you love how you feel regularly.  We don’t know how long we have on this earth.



  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s good you and some of the family got to say goodbye.

  2. Sending you hugs, my friend. I am so sorry to hear about this big loss in your life.

    1. Author

      This has been a tough year. I have lost a lot of family and very very close friends. As of 2 weeks ago I am now the patriarch of our family. The day before that I spoke at the funeral of a man who was like a second father to me. I’ve been through the wedding cycle and through the baby cycle. It now appears I’m in a funeral cycle… Thank you so much for your hugs!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.