Relationship Pain–Or Will I Ever Love Again?
I have a friend who is suffering the end of a long marriage. Over the years, I have known several good friends who went through divorce. I myself separated and divorced a little over 20 years ago. To be honest, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. It really is an unpleasant time. I never imagined that I would go through divorce. So as my marriage deteriorated and that potential approached reality, I was distraught. I loved my first wife and did everything in my power to keep us together. But as a therapist told me, it takes two to marry, but only one to cause divorce. My first wife had fallen in love with someone she worked closely with. So I had to make the best of it. We did manage to do a separation agreement using the same lawyer, so it was less painful than many I know have gone through. But it still wasn’t pleasant!
I had been out of the dating pool for a long time. Technology and dating had changed. So I started by using a website. As a man, I found I was outnumbered by women. I actually dated several women over the year and a half after our split. Then one day I received a message from my Queen. We spoke by messaging for a little bit, but relatively soon, we exchanged phone numbers and started to converse. In fact we spoke every night for about a week–for hours. I’d speak with my Queen until 3 or 4 in the morning and then I’d sleep for a couple of hours before I got up for work. Things were going swimmingly, so we arranged to meet at a restaurant/bar about halfway between our homes. It was about a 40 minute drive. We met at 8:00 and sat down and eventually ordered a snack and drinks. The place closed at 2:00 am, and we were the last out the door. We then went and sat in her car until a little past 4:00 am.
To say we got on famously would be an understatement! I arrived home went to bed for about an hour before getting up and going to work. I told a good friend that I’d found the girl I was going to marry. It took seven years, but we did tie the knot. Over time, we have had our ups and downs. I won’t comment on the downs, but there were some serious things that happened (again things that I wouldn’t wish on anyone)–still we had each other’s back. We’ve had difficult conversations. I was determined to be honest and forthcoming with my needs and wants. Whenever I was going to broach a difficult topic, I would get nervous and worry about how she might take it. However I didn’t want a relationship like I had with my first wife. I wanted something better, so I would broach the topic. She never looked at me with horror or told me I was sick. Sexually, we discussed everything and she was open to virtually everything I spoke about. I told her I wanted her to pee on me–and drink it too! She gave it a try and pretty quickly got over her pee shyness. I saw a cock cage in a sex shop and on my own investigated it. I brought it up and after a discussion she was game to try it. She was ok, dominating me, but it was something we did on odd weekends or when we went away. I believe it was in 2018 that I broached being in an FLR. We discussed this and determined how it would work and started that. It wasn’t working as well as it could, but I found Ms. Rika’s books and we eventually read them together. This was a turning point for us. We revamped our relationship which made it much better for my Queen. Eventually I proposed we renew our vows in a femdom wedding. This would be where I committed to being her slave and she my owner. She accepted the proposal–and I began to look for venues in Vegas. I wanted it to be real and so did she. Earlier this year we had our ceremony–as can be seen in other posts.
So I’m living my best life with my beautiful Queen. Things have changed dramatically for me. I’m seldom without something to do. lol And I need to ask permission to do things other husbands might do without a thought. But that’s ok. Making her happy makes me happy. Pleasing her pleases me and pleasing her sexually is the greatest.
So to all who are going through the turmoil of breakup, I’m here to say there is life after divorce and breakup! Don’t lose heart or stop living. Put yourselves in a position to meet people. If you’re into kink, find munches to attend. This will allow you to meet other kinky people. At some point you will meet the right person for you–your person!
The Season of Giving–Happy Holidays to All
I’d like to wish everyone a wonderful, happy and healthy holiday season. As I celebrate Christmas, I’ll add Merry Christmas to those of you who also do the same. That being said, if you celebrate something else, Hannukah, or Kwanza, my heartiest greetings and best wishes for you too!
It has been a hectic year. So much has happened. We started the year in an FLR, and then travelled to Vegas to undergo a femdom ceremony where I remarried my Queen and pledged to be her slave. She in turn pledged to be my owner. It was a special day and has had an epic effect on our lives. Afterwards we had a wonderful honeymoon at Hedonism in Jamaica… these events have been chronicled earlier in this blog. We then decided to move and that has been the better part of this year. Packing , moving and unpacking has been a level of busy I don’t want to go through again. Currently my son and I are working on an outdoor construction project that really should have been done before the snow… however, we are hoping to finish it sometime in the next week. So at some point over the holidays, I’m hoping to be able to rest and relax a little–although that will depend on my Queen! lol
Today marks 79 continuous days caged. I’ve done L’October, No Nut November, and am now well into Deny December. When my Queen found out we were approaching our previous record of 96 continuous days caged, she hinted that we might be setting a new record. So perhaps I’ll remain caged into January… Honestly I have no idea when I might be released.
Long time readers will know how difficult penetration has been for my Queen since her hysterectomy. We recently saw a specialist who will see my Queen for a more thorough examination in early January. He believes he knows what the problem is and is optimistic that he can fix the issue. This second visit in January is going to be more invasive, but hopefully should answer his questions about how to go about fixing things. Then we hope to get on the surgical list ASAP. My Queen misses penetration–far more than me. So with luck we’ll be able to screw like rabbits sometime in the next 6 months…lol This wouldn’t change the frequency of my orgasms, but would improve my Queen’s sex life. Until the surgery and recovery period is over, I’m bound to remain pussy free. I might even remain caged for that period of time.
The last orgasm I had was surprising. We do continue to have sex when my Queen wishes and 43 days ago, she decided to sit on my face. While I was pleasuring her, she played with Angus in his cage. I was surprised at how good it felt. She had several orgasms and then really went to town on Angus. I struggled to stop her, but she continued until I had a caged orgasm. She indicated that if I could orgasm while caged, there really wasn’t any reason to remove the cage then… As per her rules, she scooped up my ejaculate and fed it to me with her fingers.
Life Continues despite L’October and No Nut November–The Pussy Free Life
As I begin this post it is Nov 21. I have been caged since Sept. 27 a total of 55 days so far. It is possible that we may set a new record (the old record is 96 days), but that is not a decision I will make. It is the decision of my Queen.
For those of you who have read my blog for a long time, you may remember that in a previous incarnation I wrote about how my Queen had had an hysterectomy. There were very good reasons for the surgery, but there has been an unfortunate consequence. The surgery was about 6 years ago. Prior to that time we engaged in PIV sex regularly–I didn’t orgasm without permission, but my Queen enjoyed being penetrated. After a suitable recovery time, we started to engage in intercourse again–it didn’t go well. I had to be extremely careful and we had to be in just the right position. Gradually we tried less and less. Then we started to use a dildo we have. It is smaller than me in girth and length. For a while, that seemed to do the trick. Care still had to be used, but my Queen could enjoy herself. However even that toy soon became too much. We’ve visited the doctor and he gave the stock answer that she needed more lube! (bullshit) Eventually I would carefully use a finger and only insert it a small amount. One day I touched something that was hard and sharp. Freaked me out. Really freaked out my Queen. We’ve been back to the surgeon and also to our family doctor. These physicians confirmed the sharp item and it appears that a piece of mesh inserted into my Queen has formed some scar tissue and has worked through the walls of the vagina. We are lucky to see still another specialist who deals with mesh problems. Hopefully he will be able to repair this damage and we can resume penetrative sex.
Till then, I am living a virtual pussy free life. I never penetrate my Queen and only use toys and my mouth on her. On occasion, she will have me carefully use a finger. When we play I am often caged and sometimes am fully clothed. Last time we played, I was nude though caged. She had me lie on the bed with my head overhanging the edge. She moved over my face and I proceeded to please her with my tongue. At the same time she played with Angus until eventually I came while still in my cage. By then, my Queen had had three orgasms and had gushed all over my face. She then climbed off me and scooped up my cum with her fingers before feeding me my own slop.
Honeymoon–For The Last Time
As I published the last post, it occurred to me that I had some other stories still from this holiday. The entertainment at Hedo is far more suggestive and adult in nature than you will see at almost any other resort. The same group of gifted performers do most of the shows. Their shows relate to the theme of the night. On one night there was a feast on the beach. Tables and a stage were set up and everyone came down to enjoy a meal and the stage show. Now in previous shows, two of the male performers had shown that they were very well endowed. Their costumes were worn apparently commando–there were large penises flopping around with their various exotic moves. We (my Queen and I along with another couple we met) took to calling the one man Mr. Big.
We met Mr. Big and had a lunch with him one day just before the beach feast. Then for the feast, we and our friends sat at a table in the front row. After dinner as their show got going, the guys and girls came down into the crowd looking for dance partners. Mr. Big came to my Queen and pulled her up to the dance floor. They did a few quicker numbers and he was moving quite freely. It was obvious that he was excited. Then a slower song came on and my Queen was pulled into a tight embrace. After a few more dances, she begged off. She had been feeling his penis through his clothes as he ground against her. It made her uncomfortable. However it did excite her and we acted on that excitement a little later. She was amazed at how big he seemed to be.
In Jamaica, my Queen had 26 orgasms over the 10 days… She had me orgasm once. Of course I had to clean up after myself.
Back to the Honeymoon
Well L’October has started. So as I write about Hedo and our honeymoon, any exciting memories will cause bulging out of the cage! lol October has 31 days, but somehow I always seem to go at least 50 and sometimes more. We played on Saturday and while I didn’t touch Angus, he was out of the cage for a bit. So my L’October started on Sept. 27th.
However, back to Hedo. This post will contain memories of things that happened there. They may be disjointed and not necessarily in the order that they happened, but it is a long time ago now. We had a marvelous time there. Food was great, weather fantastic and we also met some nice people. The resort is small but complete. They have a pavilion called the Kama Sutra and they run free workshops every day at noon. Additionally you can book paid services from them. We went almost every day and really enjoyed the increased intimacy the workshops fostered. Before we left, we booked a couples massage and that was marvelous too! Each day we would have a nice breakfast, go to the gym and workout, before heading over to the Kama Sutra for our workshop. It was a unique experience as it was full of couples. They had mattresses laid out on the floor and likely had room for 12-14 couples. Everyone was nude and it was a new experience for the two of us. In fairness, no one was gawking at others–the focus was on our partners, but still if you looked up there was a couple in front of you naked. After the workshop, we would perhaps play a little and then go for lunch. The afternoons were spent outside mostly nude enjoying the sun.
There is a hot tub/pool at Hedo at one end of the property. It tends to have the more exciting action regularly. If the mood hits people, they might go at it right there or they might move into a nearby cabin to play before returning to the pool. We saw several lucky guys getting blow jobs over the ten days and a couple of times we saw intercourse. It was freeing and people really didn’t stare or spectate–they just continued to party and drink. We didn’t do anything at this pool except converse and meet a few people. My Queen did play with me a little causing Angus to attempt an erection that the cage prevented. Towards the end of our time there, my Queen removed my cage and played with Angus generating a full erection. Then she would ask me to go to the bar and get her a drink. That was deliciously embarrassing. There is lots of nudity and sometimes sex happening, but guys generally don’t walk around with a full erection.
One of the themes at Hedo is Fetish night. For us it was relatively easy. We went as who we actually are. I was leashed and caged and my Queen was in some fetish finery. I think there were more participants for this contest than any other during our stay. When it was all said and done, we were winners!
As the 10 days progressed, my Queen became more relaxed. One day she decided that after dinner I would give her an orgasm with my mouth–on one of the beds just outside of the buffet. This is a central spot at Hedo and people are always walking around there. So after spending some time in the Karaoke Bar, we left and she pulled me to this one bed. She had me strip and then lay down on the bed with her legs spread. Her outfit was very sexy and she wasn’t wearing panties. She pulled my face to her pussy and I started to do my favourite thing!
My focus was totally on my Queen but as she came closer and closer to orgasm, many people walked by. Apparently a couple paused for a moment–though most just looked as they walked by. The exhibitionism seemed to turn her on even more than usual and she had a massive orgasm. My face was soaked and Angus was pushing hard against his cage. When she was finished, we cuddled for a moment before returning to our room.
Hedo has a playroom. It opens reasonably late in the evening and you must strip down to enter it. They don’t want gawkers. It took us a about a week before my Queen decided we would go to it. Initially we were just going to walk in and see what it was about, but as I said they tell you to strip if you’re going inside. There are mattresses covering the floor of this pavillion and the ceiling is non-existent. Kind of cool to look up and see stars… lol At any rate we found a section of mattress and started to caress each other. All around us were other couples and at least one threesome making love/having sex! My focus was on my Queen and after she had had another couple of orgasms, we got up and left. My Queen had been afraid that we would be pressured by others to let them join us or to join them. Nothing like that happened at all.
Ultimately Hedo was one of the best vacations we ever had. There was a true openness and freedom to be yourself there. People were very friendly and we’ve planned a return visit.