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The other day I finished reading our latest book on our lifestyle.  This one was written by Lady Sas and it’s full title is “Femdom Academy:  SM course for Mistresses & Subs, Beginners, & Advanced”.  Lady Sas is a German lifestyle dominatrix who has published numerous books and has a blog that she has written since 2013.  Her blog can be found at Lady-Sas.com, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t figure out if there was a way to translate the German into English! lol  However if you read German, there appears to be a lot of information on this blog.  The good thing about Femdom Academy is that it is available in English!  I was able to translate it and it is impressive. But back to the book–over the last couple of months I read this to my Queen.  We had several really good discussions and I’m certain my Queen discovered some new ideas.  Some of the info covered we were already aware of, but even so, another view on a topic can still be valuable.

The book is broken into 15 lessons.  Amongst other things, she covers relationships between Mistress and sub, preparing for a session, creative ideas for a session, equipment, safety, personal development and finding a play partner.  One chapter that really inspired a lot of discussion was chapter 6–One Session and 1.000 Possibilities.  This chapter discusses various kinks giving definitions and talking about them, giving safety considerations and practical info.  Topics such as anal play, Cock & Ball torture, Water sports,  are discussed.  Another chapter speaks about the Language of a Mistress–or how to speak to your submissive.

Ultimately we found this book to be a low-key manual with a lot of tips for people looking to create and engage in BDSM scenes.  However the info can also be applied to 24/7 relationships.  Lady Sas has several books in print.  However if you’ve never read anything by her, this is a good place to start.

Back cover of Lady Sas’ book Femdom Academy

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One of the things my Queen enjoys is hearing me read to her.  I read all kinds of books to her–non fiction for the most part.  She doesn’t really enjoy fiction.  So she will choose books and I will read them to her.  I often read to her as we go to bed.  I also read to her when we are alone and might have time to play.  At these times I read a book that focusses on sex and power exchange.  We discuss what I read and sometimes try and adjust our relationship to incorporate some of the ideas we read about.

I read this book to my Queen last year.  It was written by Key Barrett, M. Sc.  Key Barrett is a pseudonym, but he actually has a masters degree.  He has studied sexual subcultures from North America to Europe.  Prior to writing this book, he had spent time studying Female-Led-Relationships and specifically what makes the good ones so strong.  Surrender, Submit, Serve Her is a guide written to help people enact female leadership and to embrace a female dominated household.

The book is divided into three parts: Surrender, Submit and Serve, and it is supposed to be read aloud as a couple.  This is to foster discussion.  The book is designed to teach males how to serve the female.  Many things are discussed within the pages of this book–including a small portion dealing with sexual relations.  One of the things mentioned was the act of saying a daily pledge.  This is something we have incorporated.  Prior to reading this book, I had a mantra I was required to say whenever my Queen desired it.  After discussion, we decided to incorporate a daily pledge.  I took my kinky wedding vow and made a few changes as suggested by Barrett.  We also have an evening pledge that my Queen wanted.

In the morning, I come downstairs and make my Queen’s coffee, empty the dishwasher etc.  When she comes downstairs, she sits down and I bring her coffee to her.  I am usually dressed in an apron.  I give my Queen one of her crops and kneel before her.  I hike the apron up above my nipples and then say my pledge:

“Mistress ______, I commit myself to your natural authority.  I promise to learn and grow with you exploring life together.  I will obey, serve, cherish and respect you as my superior.  I pledge my submission to you and my devotion to your pleasure.  I celebrate your sexual freedom to do as you wish!  I offer myself to you as your slave with my undying love, devotion and chastity.  I give you total control of my life including my sexuality, my orgasms and erections.  I will do everything I can for you that you desire.  I choose you as the person with whom I give my key and surrender to.  My key represents our trust in each other, your superiority, your natural authority, and your strength to lead us for as long as we both shall live!”  After completing my pledge, I then kiss the back of her hand and ask her how I might make her happy on that day.

My evening pledge is shorter, and includes my listing the things I’ve done for her that day.

Overall, there were some good things about this book.  It wasn’t my favourite book on this topic, but we did generate some great discussion and adjust our relationship practices a little.  It shouldn’t be the only book on Femdom you read, but it will likely help to expand your view of this type of relationship.

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So I am late…  I wish all of you a very merry Christmas!  This restart of my blog goes slowly.  But I will eventually get better…  This has been a good Christmas as it is the first time in 2.5 years that everyone has been home (children and father).  Sadly, we had to cancel the plans to be with our entire family, but each household has immune compromised people to consider.  Perhaps next year!  In the meantime, I continue to be in a male cage and continue to be denied frequent orgasms.  My last orgasm was in Sept. 114 days ago!   lol

Some time ago, I discovered Reddit.  Recently, someone mentioned a book by Ms. Rika.  As it turns out, it is available on Amazon along with a few other books by her.  I’ve purchased “Uniquely Rika” and also “Uniquely Us”.  I may very well buy her other books too.

“Uniquely Rika” is a really excellent way of describing, introducing and guiding a couple in setting up a female led relationship–though the principles would apply to any service oriented D/s relationship.  I actually am going to ask my Queen to read it and perhaps we’ll adjust our relationship a little.  I’ve been doing the male chastity/caged penis thing for over 6 years now.  In the beginning, I spent a lot of time reading and hunting for resources.  This book really gives a wonderful overview and practical tips for setting up such a relationship.  I believe that women who are vanilla would find it a relatively unthreatening possibility after reading it.  Ms. Rika is in a female led relationship with her husband.  This relationship works very well for both of them.

I found her approach to be very doable.   It is based on the real world and not on fantasy.  Rika discusses how many go about trying to set up their D/s relationships and why many approaches fail.  She also talks about how you can succeed in a service oriented Dominant/submissive relationship.  Using her method, there is no role playing or acting.  Instead she suggests that D/s will extend you and enrich your relationship with your significant other.

I found this to be a readable and logical introduction to one type of FLR.  I honestly wish I had found it years ago.  If you are trying to convince your wife to be a part of an FLR, this book may give you the tools to approach her and also to change your behaviour so that you are acting in a real submissive way.

Uniquely Rika, by Ms. Rika  Copywrited in 2008 and published by Lulu.com    Available on Amazon for $29.95