Grief

Grief is a funny thing.  I’m beginning to think that it’s like waves crashing on the beach… In between the waves, you feel fine, and then a small wave hits you and you remember your loss.  On occasion the weather gets stormier and the waves bigger and more violent.  When these hit you you’re taken back to the moment of your grief.  I’m amazed at how the death of my father has affected me.  Certainly far more impactful on my life than the death of my mother.  Nonetheless, life marches on.  We continue to live and experience life together.  My Queen had eased on her demands of me because of my Dad’s death.  Last week we managed to have a private conversation (not easy when one or two adult children are always around).  I asked her to resume our FLR and she consented.  I feel much better serving her and doing her bidding.  I had been removing the cage prior to bed at her wish up until last Sunday.  On that Sunday, she told me to cage up and stay caged until she told me differently.  So I’ve been caged ever since.  There is something comforting about that to me.  I know that sounds weird, but it’s like she’s always with me.

We haven’t had a lot of chances to play…  But last Sunday morning we managed to do so before either of the kids were up.  My Queen had a couple of orgasms and I thoroughly enjoyed giving them to her.  None for me, but that’s ok.  As time goes on, I get more and more pleasure from pleasing her and need less myself.